New School Pledge

from Colleen.  Don't care if it's true or not.

 WRITTEN BY A 15 YR OLD SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA : 

New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME)!

   
Since the Pledge of Allegiance And The Lord's Prayer   
Are not allowed in most Public schools anymore   
Because the word 'God' is mentioned....   
A kid in Arizona wrote the attached

NEW School prayer :

Now I sit me down in school  

Where praying is against the rule  

For this great nation under God  

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,  

It violates the Bill of Rights.  

And anytime my head I bow  

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,  

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.  

The law is specific, the law is precise.  

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.    

For praying in a public hall  

Might offend someone with no faith at all.  

In silence alone we must meditate,  

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,  

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..  

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.  

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,  

And the 'unwed daddy', our Senior King.  

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,  

We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,  

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.  

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,  

No word of God must reach this crowd.    

It's scary here I must confess,  

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.  

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:  

Should I be shot; My soul please take!  

Amen

If you aren't ashamed to do this,  

Please pass this on.  

Jesus said,  

'If you are ashamed of me,  

I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'  

Not ashamed. Pass this on..

Go Home, IE6

 

From Philip.  Source here.

Today's Spam

• Your member will grow like a flower but it will never fade like it.

Um... yeah... back when Friends was on the air, wasn't flower young-Monica's codeword for her genders' stuff?

Spam

Subject lines of spam I received today:

• Do you want to feel like a fish in the river at diplomatic meetings?
• Nominate someone for a degree
• Now you don't have to make love only to ugly women.

No Sissy Friendship Poem

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1.When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh my butt off!!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

(from Leticia)

Curiosity

(thanks, Rob)

The other day I was out walking and I came upon a construction site..

As I got closer, I could hear a group of workers chanting  -- "13, 13, 13"

So this got my curiosity up, and I walked closer to site, but there was a tall board fence that prevented me from seeing over..  I then saw a gap in the boards and went over to take a look to see what was going on

Then some JERK! poked me in the eye with a friggen stick   And then all of a sudden, the workers started up the chant again -- "14, 14, 14."

10 Dumbest Viral Marketing Campaigns

A must read.  From Skip.