test

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MOM

also from Colleen

Poem to MOM  

My son  came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime. 

I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D ..
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. '

I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'

Send to all people that have teenagers, have already raised teenagers, have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH

MOM (Mean Old Mother)

New School Pledge

from Colleen.  Don't care if it's true or not.

 WRITTEN BY A 15 YR OLD SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA : 

New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME)!

   
Since the Pledge of Allegiance And The Lord's Prayer   
Are not allowed in most Public schools anymore   
Because the word 'God' is mentioned....   
A kid in Arizona wrote the attached

NEW School prayer :

Now I sit me down in school  

Where praying is against the rule  

For this great nation under God  

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,  

It violates the Bill of Rights.  

And anytime my head I bow  

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,  

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.  

The law is specific, the law is precise.  

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.    

For praying in a public hall  

Might offend someone with no faith at all.  

In silence alone we must meditate,  

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,  

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..  

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.  

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,  

And the 'unwed daddy', our Senior King.  

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,  

We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,  

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.  

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,  

No word of God must reach this crowd.    

It's scary here I must confess,  

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.  

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:  

Should I be shot; My soul please take!  

Amen

If you aren't ashamed to do this,  

Please pass this on.  

Jesus said,  

'If you are ashamed of me,  

I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'  

Not ashamed. Pass this on..

Go Home, IE6

 

From Philip.  Source here.

Today's Spam

• Your member will grow like a flower but it will never fade like it.

Um... yeah... back when Friends was on the air, wasn't flower young-Monica's codeword for her genders' stuff?

Spam

Subject lines of spam I received today:

• Do you want to feel like a fish in the river at diplomatic meetings?
• Nominate someone for a degree
• Now you don't have to make love only to ugly women.

No Sissy Friendship Poem

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1.When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh my butt off!!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

(from Leticia)